So tonight instead of bending someone to My will, I attended the Norweigen Celebration in Fairount Park. Now, I am not a fish person (no lesbo jokes, heh heh) but I went to support a friend and ended up meeting several new people and tasting quite a few things I would never have before. I have found I like salt-cured salmon on toast points, and I can abide seafood soup so long as I avoid the actual seafood chunks in the broth. Eating shrimp is a no for me, and since this shrimp was served with heads on, absolute no no no… But it does prove you can teach an old dog new tricks (hey! Not that old!) and that there is always room for more in your personal palate….
I have several subs that have come to me practical virgins… and now they are some of the broadest ranging I have. I have, for instance, a sissy slut that came to me knowing what she/he wanted, but unable to express it or be in a non-freaked head space after a session. He/she warned me that typical behavior was to bolt to the bathroom, hurriedly dress and leave in a panic. Our first session, after all was said and done, I witnessed this “freak-out”, and instead of allowing the headspace of our session to subside, I kept my distance and still stayed close enough to stroke my sub’s leg and croon encouragment while they subsided to the real world. Ever since, zero problems with coming down from a mind-fucked session. Even the rawest newbie can adapt with the proper support system. And even the cruelest top can be a font of care and concern when needed to be.
Sometimes it’s not what you do in a session but the way you take care of your partner after that matters. I often stress in my “intro to BDSM” classes that the most important part of playing is the bonding and easing out of the headspace you get into and reassuring each other that what you are doing is not sick, or wrong, or anything other then your own personal likes- it’s merely a part of who you, and so many many other people, are.
But back to trying new things… I love it when a sub I’ve seen comes to me and has new ideas they want to try. Some work, some don’t, but often the things I do spontaenously work out the best. Depending on the mood, I often interject something new, something we’ve never done or that they’ve expressed interest in. Often they are surprised and enjoy themselves immensely, not knowing that something they would never have chosen by themselves would have such a positive return. Rarely though they react negatively, and this is a true Dom’s role- to read your sub and adjust accordingly. Unless you are a true sadist (and if so, have found a masocist who understands your game and plays accordingly, willingly, to your particular kink), causing unwanted pain in your bottom is not the point. Dominating your partner is. Forcing your will on them so that they want to fufill your desires is the goal. But if they don’t enjoy your desires as you do, then it loses the shine of the moment. It takes you from an actual dominator to a mere playground bully. And that’s the last thing a real Dom is, isn’t it…? So common, so low brain. Anyone can be an asshole, but it takes a true master to learn to read the body and emotions of their subservient… don’t you agree?